Listen to Mental Health, Motherhood, and The Roots of My Addiction

You don’t need polished; you need real, so I’m stripping away the layers to show you exactly where my battle with obesity began.

In this raw and incredibly personal episode, I take you back to my childhood in East London to uncover the deep-seated roots of my relationship with food. From growing up in a family where weight issues were the norm, to navigating a complex and painful dynamic with a mother carrying her own unresolved trauma, I’m holding nothing back.

We explore how early labels like “the naughty child” shape our psyche, the devastating impact of isolation during my school years, and the specific, heartbreaking moments that sowed the seeds for my future struggles with mental health and weight. This isn’t just a story about calories; it’s a story about how our environments create us.

If you’ve ever felt like your weight is tied to a past you can’t quite shake, this episode is for you.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Obesity has deep roots: Weight gain is rarely just about food; it is often the physical manifestation of unresolved childhood trauma and environmental conditioning.

Generational trauma cycles: Unhealed wounds in parents—like Mel’s mother’s abusive childhood—can manifest as emotional distance or harsh discipline, deeply affecting the next generation’s self-worth.

The power of words: Throwaway comments made to children, such as “don’t let a boy touch you,” can create catastrophic misunderstandings and intense fear that lasts for years.

Isolation fuels the issue: Social exclusion at school and a lack of emotional support at home can drive a child toward isolation, creating a breeding ground for future mental health struggles.

Environment shapes identity: Being labelled “naughty” or “bad” from a young age can become a self-fulfilling prophecy that impacts adult mental health and behaviour.

TOP QUOTES

“I’m laying myself bare because you don’t need polished; you need real. You think you know why you’re obese, but I’m going to tell you the things I don’t talk about outside my nearest circles.”

“Mum was in her element. But this awesome little doll that she carried around like a trophy didn’t seem to show enough signs of being receptive to her many elaborate trappings.”

“You’ll never guess what she did today. I went upstairs, and she was hanging him out of the bedroom window! I was two and a half. What a little ninja I was.”

“Don’t you let a boy touch you, or you’ll end up pregnant. I mean, this was coming from someone who couldn’t bring herself to say ‘your slip was showing.'”

“I was quickly becoming a people pleaser. I didn’t fancy them, so they could treat me like one of them… I accepted it.”

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HOST BIO

Mel Harris is a weight loss mentor, podcast host, and founder of KIO Method Ltd, specialising in long-term weight loss maintenance after bariatric surgery and weight loss injections. After losing nearly 15 stone (90kg) following weight loss surgery in 2004, Mel has spent over 20 years navigating the realities of keeping weight off.

With lived experience of bariatric surgery, weight regain, GLP-1 medications, and metabolic health challenges, Mel is on a mission to close the gap between losing weight and keeping it off for life. Through honest, compassionate conversations, she cuts through misinformation, diet culture, and shame — offering real support, insight, and zero judgement.